Monday, March 7, 2011

Insomniac's ramblings 2/26/11: Don't piss off destiny; or Why I am (still) an atheist.

I have a theory. Technically it's simply an idea, as it cannot (as yet) be tested. But that's neither here nor there.

I was supposed to die years ago. I can say this with absolute confidence, as I had cancer as a youth. I had melanoma (inherited, not sun exposure-related) on my head and chest when I was younger (just before my fifteenth birthday). I had a piece of my scalp the size of an orange slice (about 4 inches round) removed, leaving a scar that starts just above my left ear, goes around the back of my head, and ends at my right ear. I also had a smaller site, only about 2.5 inches round, removed from my chest.

During surgery, I crashed and my right lung collapsed and I had bilateral aspiration pneumonia, and I have had significant respiratory issues since then, such as the childhood asthma that I had outgrown came back, and has not gone away again. I have also had pneumonia virtually every year since then.

That surgery was April 21st, 1995. If you believe in the whole "God's plan" bullshit, my intervening and having the surgery tampered with that plan. So, as such, I am (and have been since then) being punished for living, for violating the plan. I fucked with my destiny, and that's why shit keeps happening to me. In the eyes of the religious zealot, that's the only logical reason.

But, I don't believe in a "god," so that can't be the case. Maybe I was Mengele in a past life. It would be poetic, to say the least. Reborn Jewish, and a biology geek as well. Too bad I don't believe in that crap, either. Ahh well, must have just really pissed off the mice.

Sleep tight.

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